The way I are

I know its been awhile since i last posted.Been busy lately and due to some reasons I don't want to online at home.Hanging out a lot lately and god-knows what time I'm back home every night.Just a update of what I've been upto lately.

Went to gym recently and joining gym by next month cos I've gain a little fat at my belly.Some say I looked better like that but most of them did not.Sad.Been eating quite a lot lately,especially supper and its fattening!!!!Wasted my workout.Nevermind...give me 2 months and I'll be back to my flat plus toned up abs.

Last two weeks,went to GLAM Heart Charity Ball at Palace of The Golden Horses.Thanks to Dada for the VIP passes.So formal that I could ever imagined and luckily I dressed glamorously that night.Met a lot of rich and famous people,all the actors and actresses,models,singers,dato's,tai-tai's,etc.etc.Felt so glamorous :P

On that weekend,I took a bus to Cameron Highlands to meet up with my family.My uncle from Singapore wanted to go there after over 30 years.So nice to be there after so long,I think its been a year ago.Very relaxing and we had a lot of fun.We don't even felt like leaving at the end of the vacation.The best thing is,we ate non-stop.I didn't even felt hungry for a sec,overload everytime.Eventho there's not much nice food there because its too commercialise as it's a tourist place to be but we still can find ourselves eating all the time.Actually there's so much more food that we didn't go for it because the time is just too packed.Well,this time I bought a lot of veggies back.Nothing for dad's home tho.

Then there's assignments that needed to be finish.Very satisfied with the tupperware competition cum assignment,we called it 'fiesta hat'.Its made of tupperware containers.I think we got the possibilities of winning.The grand price its a New York City trip for 2 pax and USD$2000 per person.

I realise I've become further apart from my collegemates,no time to hang out and maybe we could get along.Eventho this semester is quite free but I seems pretty busy.

Had a conversation with dad the other night.Damn sad,disappointed,hurt and angry.Nothing much I can say about it anymore.Just....sigh...

I know people looked at me as a slut,a bitch,a whore and so on but they don't really know who am I,except for some friends who really understands me who really knows me.I didn't make myself cheap.I have a lot of guy friends but it doesn't means that I sleep with all of them,it doesn't mean that I don't study,it doesn't means that I'm cheap!Sometimes I really don't understand why straight mens are so homophobics,gays and lesbians are just normal people,is just that their sexual directions are different from us,straight people.We should respect them and not discriminate them.

Sometimes I may have over-dressed but I am just confident,I wanna wear whatever I want,its up to me.I don't fucking care as long as I know how to take care of myself.No one can ever tell me what not to wear unless I asked for opinions.I am just the way I are.

Very broke lately due to the accident.Waiting for people to pay their debts back but they are just too much,told them already still don't want to pay back.There's one who is going to pay me back tomorrow,hopefully he can be trusted.Its only mid month and i'm already struggling.

Due to the conversation i had with my dad,I decided to move out since things are already screwed up,no point to stay there when i don't feel happy at all.I'll be crazy if i do.And i'm a grown up,i should be able to stay outside and alone.So now i'm looking for a room to rent.Any offers????And soon i'm gonna get a part time job to support myself.Any offers????again???

It really happened...freaky

Last few days when i was driving,i kept thinking of how will it be if i got into an accident and die so that i don't to face all those shits happening in life.

I read this book called The Secrets by Rhonda Byrne.Its about something like think about what you want and what kind of situation you wanna be and it will happen with the power of the universe.

And i got into an accident today.Not my car somemore,its someone's mum car.I'm so dead.

After the accident,i got so scared.Lucky i'm not dead and not injured,if anything happen to my face and i'm not dead,i think i will commit suicide.I felt so bad and scared.When i'm taking my nap,my whole body is shaking and the heart beats so fast.

This will cost me a lot.I felt so sorry that someone's mum cried because she really loves cars.Even though there's someone who wanna help me but i don't want la.No matter what,its my fault i need to be responsible.Now i'm finding ways to get the cheapest workshop to get it all done asap.But have to collect back all my debts first.

Damn bad luck!!!!!!

WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's not just PMS.

Why am i always the one who have to tolerate?!

I cried alone in the toilet at Binny's after i got dad's reply.I miss grandpa so much.I miss his smile his laughter and the way he call my name.

I don't want to go home but can i don't go home?Why is everyone giving me such a hard time?Do i have a life now?Why can't those bitches at dad's home understand?!

Am i self-destructing?Am i the one who make my life miserable all the time?

I wanna leave...leave this place...leave everyone...and start all over again

Emo...

I got really emotional recently.Again,a lot of things happened at home,living with dad and considering a lot of stuffs plus there's assignments coming along the way.

I wonder if i've over reacted but i just cannot stand it anymore.Why am i the one who always have to give way?Why am i the one who have to be patient all the time?Dad called this afternoon when i was having a lunch break at college.I was so disappointed and sad.At that very moment,i really felt like crying but i just hold my tears.

I wanna leave home for awhile,maybe not even a home to me.I miss Sitiawan,where my real home is.Gotta go back this weekend even if it's just a short while.

Sigh....:(

Brain storming..coming soon

It's not a new movie that's coming soon,it's assignments!I was damn sleepy today in class,trying so hard to keep my eyes open.No break somemore.

After class went to canteen to have some snacks.Saw a bunch of ID fellas.I wonder why they keep looking at me one kind,everytime.

As usual,I tumpang Lynn's car back but i drive.There's a f*cker parked right behind Lynn's car.That car owner thinks he/she is driving a Benz so can park everywhere they want is it!No brains one this kinda people!Make us waited for so long and still can't find the owner so we asked another car drive away so we went out the other way.Stupid la that owner!!!If i see that owner i sure scold that person nicely one!

Got assignment due next week and quiz for tomorrow.Sigh...will be busy busy busy again....

Pshhhhhhh pissed!!!

I didn't go back Sitiawan this weekend so i stayed at home.Dad and aunty went to Malacca.I was so pissed that that freaking paranoid lady aka aunty locked the door.I can't online!!!!!!!!!!!!!!She think i'm a thief or what?!

So i smsed dad and asked him;

me : aunty locked the room door and how shud i on the router?(fire burning already)
dad : dad don't know...cannot do anything
me : (burn to the top of my head already) is she crazy or wat?!okla den

What the hell is that!Hello?I'm your daughter la can't you do anything about it!Always like that!Finger bend out don't bend in one!I love you so much somemore!!!!Errrgggghhhh!!!!

I was bored to hell.Suprisingly i woke up so early in the morning somemore.Popo and cammie went out.No car.I watched tv.Washed my hair.Body scrubed.Listening to song at my lappy and practice my dancing as well.Read.Vacum my room.So i wait and wait,hoping Binny will call me out or whatever...but he woke up at 6pm when i called.Got nothing better to do and pissed so i wanted to get something sweet and cold to eat so i make agar agar.

Headache...i got migrain back again...i wonder why...DAMN!!!!

The today they came back from Malacca already and brought back durians and rambutans.So i went out and eat.WTF!Dad asked me if i used the frying pan this afternoon or not.In my heart thinking,sure that f*cking b*tch point fingers on me one!So i said no.Then when popo and cammie and that b*tch went in to the house for awhile,dad talked about the router.At first i'm not that pissed already one and then dad said that b*tch said that i always don't off the router.F*ck right!Then i said but!haih whatever la.Where got people off the router one!!!So afraid of getting strucked by lightning and die,you will DIE EARLIER!!!Then dad said so like this la who's the last person who use it then off it.Then i just said okok.Totally no mood already.Even the bittest durian taste tasteless to me even though that's my favourite.Don't even wanna see that b*tch face!I purposely went in to the room when she's talking to popo when we were watching tv just now.

SO happened that i forgot to take in my slippers and it was bitten by angel.OMFG!!!!!!I whacked her until!!!!That slipper is new!I just bought it from Bali!!!!I'm so pissed and sad now....Argghhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fashion communication is so fun!!!

I was darn sleepy this morning when i'm in the pc lab where our Marketing On The Web class is.Well it's the first class for this semester cos last week class was cancelled.I learn quite a few things about photoshop though and there's more to come.Class finishes quite early so i went to Robin's car to take a nap while waiting for him to finish class and Jason to come to college to go for lunch together.

After awhile Binny called,Jason dada said he's not coming.So i went to canteen to have lunch with Binny.Then Jason dad came.Bla bla bla then we went to class.

This is the second time having class with Binny,very happy.Hmmm maybe lately i got very close to him lor other than Lynn.Its good though,at least there's someone there for me,not like some people who picks friends to be in group with.Binny was shocked but for me,i actually already expected it,so long ago.

This fashion communication class is very fun plus its Ms. Lynnette class.We have some acting in class too.Is like a comparison of the differences in action and verbal between a good girl and a party animal that fancy a guy.Definitely i'll be the party animal character but i have to act a part as a good girl because my group members some are shy and some don't know how to.So while i'm acting as the good girl part,when i walk out the lecturer straight away said that i looks like a naughty girl more than a good girl,everyone laughed.Well the acting was hilarious!We had fun.Its really fun.

Unforgettable Bali

For the first time of my life,of all the places and countries i've been,Bali is the place where i got the feeling of extending my stay so eagerly and earnestly and even thought of not coming back to Malaysia again.I love the sun!I love the night!I love the shopping!I love the waves!I love the company!

Here's the trip goes....

On the 26th went to fetch Jie,Jenny and Shirlene.They reached KL about 3pm.Me and Be rushed from 1pm+ from Setapak to Puchong then to Puduraya.After fetching them,we went to Pearl International Hotel at old klang road to check in and put our bags.Be went back office to attend meeting at 430 so he left us at the hotel.So we went Midvalley to change currency and get some stuff since we still got time till mummy and yiyi reach.About 7pm Be came and fetch us back to hotel and meet mum and yiyi up for dinner.We went Brickfields there to a Woolan Restaurant for dinner.Nice food.So after dinner we went back hotel.

27th-We woke up about 9am or 10am.Get groomed and get ready to leave.Went to the porridge shop again as we always go there for brunch everytime we stayed that hotel.Be came and joined us cos he need to fetch us to the airport.So after brunch,everyone got so excited and went to LCCT to catch our flight at 440pm.So bla bla bla,Be went off and we went in waiting for boarding.When we're waiting,there's this american guy walk by and give me that smile and i was like "huh?????" but i did smiled back la.So happened that our flight was delayed to 8pm!!!WTF!!!!!I went to asked them "why?" and they said one of their plane had problems.But luckily they said they going to serve us McD as refreshments.So i walked back to where i sit and the american guy came and ask if we're going to Bali also.He also asked if i'm a american because i sounds like one.Hahahaha funny..so i told him i'm a Malaysian and he said i got the accent.After awhile he came and sat at the back row of my seat next to mummy.Scared me and Jenny.He talked to mum.I got so shy and i don't know what to talk to him and i just kept quiet.So after awhile he went off.We went to take a walk but the freaking Air Asia airport only got 2 stores and a cafe.We bought some cheese cakes and muffins from the cafe to munch.Everyone is like doing their own things,i'm listening to MP3,mum was reading,Shirlene was massaging yiyi,Jie taking her nap and Jenny was playing with her handphone.I slept for awhile in my sitting position.I can sleep anywhere any position hahaha...About 730pm,they gave us our refreshments.Everyone is like hungry ghost like that.I haven't even finish my burger and drink and they called for boarding already.Boarded on the plane mostt of it was taken then there's a places next to that american guy and he asked me to sit with him.So we talked quite alot.Oh yea!his name is Spencer and he's 21 from California.Didn't get to take picture with him so erm...he looks like the lead singer of the Rooster.

We reached Bali also 11pm+ already.Suprisingly the wind is cold.We got airport transfer to the hotel.Its late and we were tired so we just went out for late dinner.Every restaurant was closed only left Apache,where we ate.The night life there is so 'Wow!'.Fun!But too tired already so didn't go.Damn AirAsia!wasted our time!!!!!!!!Errrrrrrgggggghhhh!!!!!!!!!If i got the money,i sure sue them for wasting our time one!

28th-Woke up 830am because they wana go for breakfast except for me.I'm not a breakfast person.So get ready and went shopping.Did manicure and pedicure for 50000rp which is Rm20.

Bought a tube dress for Rm8,a cowboy hat for Rm16,necklace for Rm6 and slippers for Rm8.Omg!there's so many handsome dudes around...so much compared to Bangkok!!!We see until our eyes also blur.A lot of surfing shops around.After tired of shopping at Discovery Mall,we actually wanted to go for massage but i don't want,i want to go to the beach.Even Jenny and Shirlene also.Go to Bali must go to the beach.So we find our way to the beach and we walked through a place,i think its a graveyard but there's people walking that way to the beach also so we don't care la as long as we respect them.We were so excited to see the beach,the waves and the people.

And we become aliens or superstar to all the local indonesian highschool students.Why?Because they followed us around when we walked at the beach and took pictures with us.One group after another and we felt so weird,everyone is looking at us.We walked about the end of the beach and we sat down for awhile and lied down.This few local people so sat behind us trying to take our pictures without our permission!Omg!Although i'm wearing bikini but there's so many other ladies who wears bikini too and why are they stalking us.WEIRD!So we decided to go back to the hotel.We shopped around at the Poppies Lane.I bought my dress there and 3 of them bought 3 pairs of fake branded shades for 70000rp and its like Rm28!!!Damn cheap weh..even Bangkok also cannot get so cheap.Whites there are really friendly and funny.While shopping in the afternoon,when i'm else where in a shop,Jie,Jenny and Shirlene were asked to take pictures with some guy from don't-know-where and invite them to go clubbing together.And while at the way back to hotel after shopping at Poppies Lane,so many guys do some funny faces to me and us,some greet us and there's some who saw us from a shop while we are walking rushing out and calling 'hey!cowboy..don't go!',i'm wearing the cowboy hat that time.Hahahaha real funny...but we like it.Spencer called me and asked me to meet him out and go clubbing with him.So after massage at a nice environment which only cost us 50000rp for foot massage and 60000rp for traditional whole body massage,we went Maxi to have pizza and soups and the time its about 1opm and I need to meet Spencer up at 1030pm at Macaroni.So 1030 sharp i went over to Macaroni to tell Spencer i have to meet him somewhere else later.

After that I went to SkyLounge to meet Spencer up.Its a nice and glam place.We wanted to go over to Bounty's but have to wait for the 3 girls to make up so we waited at the SkyLounge cafe.He buy me a beer.And that's the first time i tried Bintang beer.Its nice and smooth.So we talked for awhile then we walked over to Bounty's holding our beer.We played pool at Bounty.We saw a guy that looks like a model and he also looks like the new 'Superman'.Jie got to know an australian guy but he seems annoying and we tried to run away from him and we went up to the dance floor at 3rd floor.It was crowded.Their cocktails are very special and i love their Red Illusions which is 30000rp,for a long cilinder tupperware bottle.They played house music,i don't quite like house music but still fine for me.Its so different to club here in Bali especially which so many ang mohs around,not like here in Malaysia;you only dance with people you know or with who you come with and you won't simply grab people to dance with back here in Malaysia,one word 'not friendly enough'.No offence.We left about 3 something to 4am cos Jie wana take her bath and sleep cos we need to wake up about 8am to go for city tour.

29th-Woke up about 830am when mum and all went for breakfast.Changed and make up.And set we go to lobby and wait for the man to fetch us.Bali was having a celebration but don't know what is it about.So in the street you can see a lot of this kind of things.First destination is Tanah Lot Temple.Asked a china young chap to help take picture of 6 of us.Then he took pictures with us also and then we get to know him.He's a business man,only 23 years old.He took our email and he sent me this picture that we took with him.After that we went to Monkey Forest,i tell u..i was so scared!!!Actually all of us was scared,with our hands wide open to show that we got no food so the monkey won't come for us.

The whole trip was just raining and cloudy all day.Its just so-not-Bali at all.I wonder if when i tell people i come to Bali and its cold people will laugh at me or not.So i bought a sarong at the stall at Monkey Forest for 20000rp which equals to Rm8.So right after that we went up the hill to have lunch.Its cold weh..But the food is nice. we went Bedugul Temple to see the temple in the center of the lake and mountain around it.Very nice and cold.We saw two japanese/korean guys,one looks friendly another one looks cocky.We kept on talking and scolding that cocky fella because he's just so cocky!Wanted to try and asked him see how he reacts when we asked him to help us take pictures but we ended didn't ask him cos no one wana look at his face. So after that we went to a market.We called it Kea Farm Cameron Highland Bali.I bought a lot of necklaces here.Very cheap!Damn cheap!I bought about 10pieces of necklaces.And we saw a stall selling little rabbits,so cute!!!Omg!How i wish i can buy them and bring them back here to Malaysia. After that,our tour guide,Mario recommend us to his friend's spa.We can get cheaper deal if he bring us there.SO we went there to negotiate and we got Rm100 for the spa treatment.The place is very nice,very exotic and relaxing.Our appointment is at 1030pm so we went to Jimbaran for seafood at the beach while watching the sun set.Hoooo!Nice babe...amazing!Romantic....The waiter said that this is the best sunset scene where the sun set and the moon appear at the other side of the sky.

They got live band somemore.You can request song that you wanna listen.They can even sing spanish,chinese and so much more other than english songs even though they are Balinese.Waiters there are so friendly some looks cute too.They call every ladies 'darling'.We saw quite a few groups of Malaysian there as well but we didn't act like when sakai see another sakai la.So after that we went to Discovery Mall again before heading to spa.I found a black corset which can wear it out.Very nice but the cup there very sharp..like fake boobs like that.Its about Rm80+.I bought my new wallet there for only less than Rm20.So after that we went to spa.

The treatment and massage was not bad.I'm in the same room with Shirlene and we were both naked..Hahahahaha..We kept on laughing cos we were both shivering when they apply the body polish for us.When we finished is already 1230am and i still want to go clubbing.Quickly went back to hotel.There's a crawl at Legian street not far from our hotel so i decided to get down from the car and walk cos i need to change and do a little make up to go clubbing.At first Jie don't want to go because she's tired but i got so happy when all of them are going with me except for the two elder ladies.Well,the clubbing was not that fun like the first time and maybe its friday night so there's a lot of local guys which is very annoying.We saw a fight but luckily is a not very serious one.We left about 2am plus.Before that we sat downstairs cos we still don't feel like going back and there's this guy came to us and ask if anyone of us can go in to the pool of foam there as they were having foam party there.That guy is on a bet of getting a girl into the pool.But we rejected him eventhough i'm in my bikini,foam makes the skin feel sticky and i don't like it plus he's the one who got the money not me so what for.And then this australian guy came to talked to us and asked if we are Japanese and i said yes.He doubted i guess because my english was too good for a japanese so i said i'm in the international school(but even a japanese in the international school won't sound like that) so that's why he seems to suspect.So i'm talking to him because i said i'm the one among them who are good in english and i said we were from Hokkaido..hahahahaha!Really funny..i purposely asked Shirlene things in Japanese slang.

30th-We were so happy when we see the sun today.We check out and get ready to go to the beach for sun bathing.It was sunny.So nice..so hot but yet the wind is cooling.We went to the sea and played with the waves.Its so fun!

We tried their mee goreng at the stall at the beach.Maybe we were hungry,its nice!I'm so happy to get the tan that i want.Not too dark like those ugly arrogant Koreans that lying at the back of us.We have to be back at the hotel about 530pm.SO after the mee goreng we left to Poppies Lane 2 to do some shopping.I bought more necklaces,bought a boardshorts,a tube dress and a evening dress which is only Rm12.I wanted to buy more cos i still left some money but too bad we had to leave.How i wish i can extend.Not only me but all of us.Sigh...we were so sad when we were at the airport.We even wanted to cry.

Coincidently,i saw my senior from college.She got her hair braided but not tanned.Stupid right?and yet she's complaining she got gark already.My goodness.Typical chinese girl.No offence.

Saw this two little kids.Very cute...played with them on board cos they sitting at the front seat.They are from Melbourne.So that's the end of Bali trip.We're planning to go again backpacking for at least 14days next time hahahahaha so have to save money now.

There goes my 4th sem....

Today is my last day of my fourth semester.Of all the effort and the sleepless nights,i'm so tired.Came back home,get my shower get my body scrub and get a nap.Feel so nice.

Last monday dad cooked.We had delicious roasted pork and patty.Yummy..i got so full because i ate nasi lemak before that.But its so delicious that i cant resist it.Dad is so good in cooking.

Yesterday I got so bad luck.Its the due date for visual merchandising assignment.Went ampang point to get my proposal printed but lost 2 pages.I was pissed until don-t-know-what-to-say.But luckily our lecturer is kind enough to let me touch up today.Then yesterday after i hand in my assignment,me and lynn went Midvalley to meet her hubby.We went Secret Recipe first.I was so hungry cos haven't eat anything since i woke up in the morning.I ordered kid's burger to eat.So cute la!!!

After that we went to watch Fantastic Four.The cinema was so cold.I rate the movie 4/5.I love Jessica Alba and his brother,'torch' in the movie,he's so damn cute!!!After the movie,we went Chilis and we were chit chatting.Told lynn my part of history and she told hers.After that we do our revision.Stay up till 11pm something.Got so tired and went back home.I slept about 2am.Wow!it was fantastic...because i'm so tired.

So now i'm going Sunway Redbox with lynn.And there's so much plans coming...woohooo...and i'm going Bali next week!!!!

Is love that important after all?

Well sorry for not updating my blog for quite awhile due to my assignments and outings. Well now its the end of the semester where all the final assignments and exams coming,don't even have the time to get my body scrub.After this week,i can have fun already.Going Bali soon and i'm so excited about it.So soon and now is already mid of June.

Not a good month for me cos last night when i stay back at college do assignment,after that wanted to go ATM but is already 12 midnight and i only have RM1 in my wallet.Mobile gone barred because no credit so cannot sms so didn't sms aunty to not latch the door.So went to 711 to get top up,borrowed RM10 from my friend.Got so pissed because RM10 top up were sold out!Then got back home and as what i've expected the door is latch and i can't get in so borrowed my friend's phone to sms and luckily aunty got it.And this aunty also one kind one la,don't know how to sms and ask people whether going home or not one meh!I was so tired,didn't even online and slept about 2am.

Wow this morning...damn annoying...there's some people keep on calling me.Wanna sleep peacefully also cannot and i end up trying hard to get up.Went to college today,do assignments and revisions.Rajin rite?Hahahaha then went KLCC then went Midvalley.Wanted to find some translucant box or plastic box but can't get.I'm so damn sleepy so damn tired and got me become so forgetful.But suprisingly i can do my assignments,very quickly,its just that there's boundaries where i forgot to take my pendrive when i'm at Starbucks KLCC trying to do my assignments and my group mate can't online and all.I had a very nice nasi lemak just now with Lynn and her hubby at Bangsar.Wanted to meet up Binny also but i need to do assignment and he didn't bring his lappy so better don't go lor.

For 2 days already lor we didn't contact each other,felt uneasy whenever i think of him but i guess is better like that so we can slowly call it off.Sometimes i really think 'is love that important after all?'.

A women's pride

During tea time,i sat down with Popo Yee and aunty.We were talking about aunty's 30 over years of friendship friend,Aunty Juliet.Recently they met back and got to know Aunty Juliet's story.

Well,Aunty Juliet's was in a wealthy family.Her father don't want her to study at local University so he sent her to England to study,paid her 2 years University fees and gave her some money to survive.She didn't get a part time job because she need to study,only rely to the money that her father gave her.When she finish using the money she asked her father to send her money.She waited and waited.No money come.Her father was declared bankrupt back in Malaysia.She waited till she have to stop studying,wasted her school fees and have to work in England.She worked there for a couple of years and then came back to Malaysia.She wasted her chance to get the education that she wants because her father didn't tell her that he's gonna bankrupt before she went to England.And now she end up working at SJMC selling some hospital equipment or something like that.

All the while dad wants me,joan and jill futher our studies at UK because he himself was british educated.He want it so bad even though now is so much expensive compared to 30 years ago.First person is me.It has also became my dream.But i have doubts.The plan is i finish my advanced diploma next year and work for couple of years to gain experience and also to save money to go UK in the future.Dad convinced me not to worry,he got the money.I told mum and she don't agree.I even told her i wanna become a air stewardess,one is because this is what i always wanted to do apart from fashion and another reason is the pay is much more higher compared to a junior fashion stylist/buyer/merchandiser etc etc.And air stewardess only work for 4 days and rest 3 days.I really wanted to go UK.But mum say if i go Australia,she can afford.That will only be my alternative.

But just now Popo thought that after i graduated i wouldn't want to study anymore and i told her of course i want!And she said "haiya...girl study so much for wat la.Work for few years find a husband and get married la".Well i told her i want to study is because of myself not for other people.And aunty was saying "haiya ur dad where got money to give you go UK to study",yala i know you want my dad's money la and don't want me to go study right.In your dreams!!You one cent also cannot get from my dad!And she somemore say "you see la how Aunty Juliet now,its not easy you know,very expensive somemore".

I heard a lot of people saying women no need so much education,get a rich husband enough already no need to work.But i don't think so.How if the marriage screwed up?How do you gonna survive?Going back to your parents and use their money?Or till then only find a washing dishes job at a restaurant or a sales girl?Or find another boyfriend who can give you money to use and treat you like a whore?If the marriage don't screw up,good for you.But you couldn't just rely on your husband right?

Hmmmm...We couldn't just depend on men all the time.We also need education and even experience to support ourselves.We have to make our own money,our own success.Without men we still can survive,without love we also can survive.All we need to do is get the education that we want,do the things that we want and pursue of dreams our ambition.No one can say we are wrong or right.You wanna become a housewife,go ahead.You wanna become a business women,go ahead.You want to become Malaysia Next Top Model,go ahead.Do whatever you want as long as that thing is what you wanted to do.No one can stop us if the thing that we are doing is right(I'm not saying about drugs and all that).

I know now most of the people working in a job that doesn't even related to what they study but no matter how,at least you can proudly tell people that you're a degree holder or even much better.At least you got your education.Like my mum previous boss's wife,studied at Harvard University before,got her MBA and now she's a housewife.Felt a bit wasted but at least in her life she achieved something.Right?

*above statement or examples have nothing to do with anyone even dead or alive

Restless me...

Came back from Sitiawan on monday early morning,again i slept the whole journey back to Subang.Usually when i wake up i won't sleep again if yes also i'll sleep for about 5 to 10minutes,but this time i just can't wake up,wanting to sleep only.After that i went to college for my market research class.I reached there quite early,i'm the 1st who reach in the class and i slept.The cleaning service aunty asked me if i'm sick or whatever when she came in to clean the class and i said no and i continue sleeping.Till people start coming in i also don't know till the lecturer asked other coursemate who am i then only i wake up.After awhile i slept back again til the class starts.I sat there also very sleepy wanted to sleep but i stopped myself to.Ms. Hui Li even asked where have i been...you can imagine how restless looking i am

I stand until i really cannot stand already so i'd to ask Be come and fetch me eventho it's his closing day.Went home swallowed a pill of panadol and snooze till dinner.After dinner then sleep again..........sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeppppppppppppp only..

Some people really thought that i'm faking it.This morning got a sms from this-person asking me to go college because there's some changes in the assignment.I already tolerate and asked this-person to come somewhere nearby so i can meet this-person to discuss but this-person insisted me to go college no matter how.Fuck la...i can't even wake up how can i go college,i'm damn weak ok!The way this-person insisted as if i'm faking that i'm sick like that.So INCONSIDERATE!

Went to clinic to actually get MC.My fever has gone but whole body still aching.Doc say if next few days the fever comes back,it might be dengue.Hmmmm scary...and i think back,i think i got bitten quite a lot by mozzies lately...But i think i'm just not enough sleep la...haiya scared myself only...ceh!

RAIN party!!

I had such a great time last friday.Imagine yourself dancing in the rain and you are all wet!Its so damn fun!Ok well i went to this Rain party at Liquid dressed up in my black bikini top and micro mini shorts.Its a lesbian party,no guys allowed.Only Binny and his so-called-bf can enter,because he's a commitee of the lesbian eventho he's a guy.

Its not really raining but seems more like shower party but with people holding water guns around,pouring water on you.Well when the party 1st started there's a few dancers starting on some performance to entertain us and soon the rain(shower) was turn on and i was pulled up to the podium and dance.All wet.But its so damn fun!!!!First time in my life and i'm looking forward to the next one.Luckily i didn't get molested but i did get being invited by a girl(not TB) to dance with her and she did touched me la...Maybe she thinks that i'm good *vain*.

Actually Mei wanna go wan with her 2 guy friends but sadly her friends cannot enter.At 1st we thought can wan but suddenly their rules became so stricted because last year's guys allowed and created a lot of issues so this year they don't allow.

Didn't get to take pictures because afraid that it will wet the camera or even hp.I did bring my hp but i don't want to take it out la..scared later my baby rosak.But i did self-potrait myself when i'm taking a break outside *will post it later*.Was so tired because i didn't get enough sleep.The day before i didn't sleep till about 9am only sleep and was disturbed by phone calls,i left it silent after i answered a few calls but i still can hear the vibrations.Then when i was awaken when aunty or whoever wakes Jill up to go back Ipoh so i checked my hp.Binny called and he said he's coming in 2 hours time,and i only slept for 2 hours.

Then i woke up,remove my make up *was too tired to remove before this*,changed and went downstairs to see if they are leaving already or not.But dad just went up and bath so have to wait for him so i sat downstairs and wait as well because i so wanna see daddy.Waited for awhile and i decided to take my bath 1st since dad is still not done.After shower,everyone was ready to leave except for me and dad.So muaks muaks with Joan and Jill then left me and dad at home.So we have a little talk about my future.Then Binny reached and i asked him to wait for while cos i'm still talking with dad till dad noticed Binny was out at the gate waiting in the car for me.So dad asked me to go and i quickly run up and pack my stuff very quickly.Muaks muaks with dad then i ciao,i thought dad will give me some money but sigh...forget about it...

Then went to KL with Binny and Tze.Had lunch behind TS in a chinese restaurant,had typical china food and its quite nice.Tze meeting her friends so left me and Binny go Sg. Wang.Met Mei up at KLP to get the fake eyelashes glue.Had a little bit of shopping cos Binny wanna buy slippers from fourskin then we left.Went back to Binny's house and we slept till 8pm,woke up and gets ready for the party.We were all excited about it.

Kinda bad luck this time cos Binny's so-called-bf nearly cannot enter and by the end of the party,we couldn't find Binny's car key and it was not being removed at the boot before we went to the party,Binny's hp screen rosak after being squashed with the boot and Tze's hp is wet until the screen turns off.On the other hand,my hp is also in my bag together with her's but mine nothing happened also and luckily my laptop and other stuff that was kept inside the boot didnt get stolen.

So sent Binny's cousin back and we went back to Binny's.Ate nasi lemak,get shower and had a little talked before we slept.Again,i only slept for 2hours because i have to go over to Be's to go back Sitiawan.Binny sent me there.But i reached there,we are still not leaving.Be said don't want follow his housemate cos he's gonna leave at 830am.So we continue sleeping till Be woke up finish packed his things only i wake up and we left about 1130am.Dah la don't want to fetch me and want me to reach by 8am,reached already also haven't leave!If i know i sleep at Binny there longer la and also can let Binny sleep abit longer.Sigh...ego!

I slept most of the journey back and the weather is so damn hot!!Then reached already Be sent me home and he went back home.Didn't get any rest then i drove mum to grandma's place to see my QQ(uncle from Spore) before he leaves.He came back to paint the house for ONE day and the rest he went out to drink.He came back to Sitiawan last Wednesday.When i'm there i can already see him drinking alone at grandma's house.After that went out drink my favourite kopi peng then went back to grandma's to fetch QQ to Kg. Koh there to take bus.

Do nothing much back here,went for dinner at Econsave then came back home and watch DVD.Ghost Rider.I watched until i wanna sleep but managed to finish the movie.Took my bath and now i'm out at the living room sofa online with a tmnet dial-up again.

p.s: fyi,i'm not a homosexual or even a bisexual to go to the rain party..even if i am,i will surely show it out and wouldn't hide it.I just wanna have fun.Anyway straight girls are allowed in the party so anyone wanna go let me know. ;P

decision r hard 2 make

I wonder will i face regrets in the future.Well people say if u don't make mistakes u wudn't learn.Well,i'm goin to leave so that i can be myself,pursuing my own dreams and ambition without any restriction without having to face black espressions,going out with whoever i want,going home anytime i want and doing anything that will make myself happy.

I know its for my own good but i just want to explore the world myself at least i will know what it feels like and how does it looks like so that i'll learn.I leave not because of anyone else but myself.I'm tired,tired of being somebody who is not me,being so restless to do something that i want to do and doing something that i don't want to do.

I really hope u understand.

Emotional support

Whole nite I didn't sleep.Luckily got to college in time.And when i'm in the taxi,the taxi driver looked at me and ask what is my occupation,so i said student.Then he's like asking to be a model and telling me i'm pretty and then i tell him "tak cukup tinggi lah pak cik" then he answer "boleh lah muka cantik cukup lah" then i just smiled. I know i'm vain...hehehe.

Recently i've been talking to a lot of people.Getting a lot of advices.Some people who i don't talk to them also can see that i'm not happy,my smile hidden a lot of unhappiness,very fake.But kind enough when i'm down there's people who supported me and teached me,they want to see the happiest smile that i always had.

Down moments

Its freaking 2.39am and i'm drinking beer alone.Thought of getting myself numb for awhile but it just couldn't get me drunk!And when i don't want to drunk,i fucking drunk and its infront of my friends!!!-_-"

That's the way it is...the more you want it to be the more it don't want to be...


am i crapping now????????

Shit!

Saturday Nite

Binny came and fetch me and we went 1u.Saw two leng zai's,too bad can't take picture with 'em.Everyone will surely kill me cos i'm buying stuff again when i keep on telling them i', broke,and this time is a white long sleeved off shoulder SEED blouse,30% off at Padini Concept Store.Wanted to buy more but i controlled myself,need to save some money to get a new memory card and yeah i lost it again...really no fate with memory cards this is the second time already!!!

Went over to Valeska's party after that.What a small world,i saw a bitch at the party.Coincidently her bf is Valeska's friend so she went along.So i tell a few of my friends about her and she's definitely related with this word 'buruk',fashion sense sucks.When comes to group photo sessions,as if she's a part of them,so perasan and take picture with them even Asthena's bf also didn't take picture with us when comes to collegemates turn.Anyway,the food was nice,i like the sotong and the chicken.

After that i followed Kym back to Setapak.We went to a place called Feeling Cafe.I heard it was opened by some local singers.I like the place,got so-called-live band,can request songs and you can even write/draw out your feelings on the wall.We got suprised when there's two guys buy us apple salad and they didn't ask for our names nor mobile number.Its nice.Kym met her friend there and he dedicated a song to me.I'm so suprised and i wonder how he knew.He's a psychology student and the song is so related to my feelings that time.Had a great time,me and Kym,as usual,we talked.But that place can really makes you feel emotional.I thought about a lotsa stuff when i'm there,I think i know what to do about it.

Oh ya!The day before I went Midvalley with Mic,Kym and Asthena,i saw this vest at Miss Selfridge.Its so nice and its so my size!!!Very masculine,cool,sexy and its the last piece.It cost RM183!!Sigh..i decided not to buy...

Twisting and turning in a space that's too small...

I've open this page for so long n I duno wat to blog abt.Lately my mood has nvr been stable since grandpa passed away.Indeed,i miss him alot.

Recently i watched this taiwan serial drama called Angel Lover.I'm abt to finish d drama n I cried for most of it.Its quite interesting.In this world,there's a lot of different personality,attitude n beliefs in people.

Nowadays people kip on complaining n wish tat they can forget sum parts of their memories but thr's sum ppl in tis world try it so hard to recall their memories when they lost their memories.When they haf it they wana forget abt it,when they lost it they wana get it bak.Sum people oni knw how to think committing suicide everyday in their lives while sum people wana live for one more day aso kenot.Y humans r all like tat?when tat person leave den u oni knw how much u nit tat person,when u gonna die u oni treasure life,when u make mistakes oni u will learn,when u missed it u oni knw how important it is etc. etc.

Humans r selfish i supposed.

Alot alot alot of things happened recently.I guess i jst cudn't adopt with it.I'm in a situation which is undecided.I din realise it was so bad until today.All this while i was laughing n smilling outside of me but actually matter got worst inside.Maybe I don't face d fact*like wat tat person once/more told me before*.Infact,i don't dare to face it n i don't know how to.I tot i shud understand myself more than everyone else in this world but actually i aso don't understand myself.I may know wat i want but i don't know if d choice i made will hurt other people n i don't know how to settle it.Maybe, i too care abt other people feelings adi.

Now i really don't know wat is actually happiness means to me becos happy to me is jst a very short term thing.Is tat my problem?I think too much??Or i'm d one who created all d problem by thinking too much,caring too much???Is it becos i'm a person who kenot be stable for once????AM i stupid?????

Does all this sound familiar to u?Yea i knw most of my blog all sounds similar with this.Jst the same old shit everyday every month every year.-Tired-

Random Pictures

Me & Mummy
"FLY"show
This little girl can sing very well
Very smart little girl that only likes pretty and handsome to be friends with
impressing...btw tat baby doesn't belongs to him
Denim Nite

On d stage receiving the prize
Tada!!!At 1st it really sounds good but dun make it like ur concert like tat la

See!people aso kenot tahan sleep adi NiceOooooooo i'm freeeeezzzziiiinnnnggggg!!!

*****************************************

Bye bye Grandpa...rest in peace orh...miss uWe will love you forever...

Our very straight forward-tidy-clean-talkative-generous-funny-cute aunty n her 4 nieces

4 pretty ladies with a monkey...LOLThe man in the houseThe family potrait...without grandpa...The cutest couple *QQ(pronounce in 'kiu kiu' in hakka,means mother's brother)& Aunty Audrey(his wife)*