Sad or happy?

I really don't know how to write this blog.Kong kong aka grandpa passed away on monday morning.Its not a very shocking news to everyone of us as we have already prepared for it already cos he's too ill n suffers.I even said "wth!" when mum knocked on my room door at 6am n tell me about it.Didn't cry...no one cried until the last day of funeral when we're praying for him.Funeral was so messed up,mixed customs here n there while we're having a christian funeral.The pastor sounds like he is telling his testimonial more than praying for the death n the service even have a hokkien song.So we prayed ourselves in a catholic way eventho its a methodist funeral cos most of my aunty n uncle n cousins are catholic,n i felt soooo much better after tat.Transportation plan was messed up forgot this n forgot tat becos there's too many influences already from the old people too many customs to follow.Seriously i'm not very happy with the funeral.I wonder if Kong Kong rest in peace with this kind of funeral anot.No one has cried when the coffin is pushed to the crematory room,we can even see how it burns.Haih anyway its over..went to pick his bones n ashes this morning.Placed the urn at Sam Poh Kong n throw his ashes at the sea.

I didn't sleep for few nights already becos have to stay n look after Kong Kong if there's any cats jump over his coffin.Second nite everyone is so tired so left me alone n my Be(who was drunk n sleeping) there to look after,i was so tired but still have to tahan.I can actually sleep cos we asked a uncle to look after for us but i still worried.

I found tat most of the time,funeral is the best moment for the whole family to gather together.Its quite happy tho,we have every lunch n dinner together,went to Lumut den went to Beach pub n sing K together.Had a really great time together.

Luckily last Thurs i saw Kong Kong when i first got back to Stw.He somemore called my name n smiled eventho he's so ill.Forever i will never forget his smile...forever...sobz

#will post sum pictures later