Love you till the end...

My weekends started off with a night of disappointment and hurt by people who I constantly treat them as very important people in my life. At least at this point of my life. I felt very upset since Friday night, I could never imagine that this can actually happened to me or I should say to us. Yes, I couldn’t deny the fact that every living creature in this world have their own responsibilities, own things to do, own problem to worry about, people or stuff to take care of and things or people they have to prioritize on their list. Me myself have nothing is different from anyone else in this matter. People come and go; your friends and even your loved ones. It’s just a chapter in your life. And so, I decided not to take any action or make any fuss about what happened on Friday night even though it hurts me deep inside, even though they don’t even know that they actually had hurt me.

I stayed at home on Saturday, feeling down about the night before. I watched ‘p.s. I Love You’ alone. Didn’t managed to catch it when it’s on the cinema so I bought it the week when me, dear and jack when back to Ipoh-Sitiawan.

I don’t know whether it is me who is feeling emo about the night before or it was the movie that touched me, leaving me crying out loud at my crib like nobody business. The movie reminds me of Grandpa. It’s sad to lose someone you loved. Compared to GBR breakup, breakup is like nothing. There’s no words can describe the feeling.

It’s still so clear to me even though it’s been a year ago. 30th April, a day before Labor Day was Grandpa’s one year anniversary. Time passed so fast and it’s already a year ago. Whenever I think about it, I'll feel regret. Regret because I’m not capable of doing anything to change Grandpa’s funeral. The funeral was messed up and I’m totally not happy with it. Is Grandpa happy?I wondered.

I still think of him every now and then. He always used to say “happy!happy!” even when he’s weak when he was in the hospital and nursing home. Grandma and everyone in the family claimed that I am the grandchild that he loved the most.

I still remember the time when he fetch me to and from school with his bicycle and he always buy candies for me even though he don’t have much money in his pocket when I was much younger. I still remember his laughter, very clearly…the last time he laughed was when I went back to see him the week before he passed away. I miss you Grandpa.