It's gonna be alright

I think I've pushed myself too hard lately.Surrounding myself with all those impossible thoughts.Too drown into the dramas I watched lately I guess.

I've been thinking....why am I so ambitious?...why am I so stubborn?...why am I not so stupid?...why can't I be more innocent?...why am I expecting too much from myself and other people around me?...why do I have to protect myself too much that I can't even let myself off a little?...isn't it better if I'm stupid and innocent and naive?

I don't know whether I should go for Air Asia walk-in interview or not this coming Saturday.Everyone is asking me to go and try but me myself...haven't even prepared anything yet.What is pulling me away?away from all this?Am I scared?Am I too paranoid about my future?I know I'm avoiding but on the other hand I want to get myself a job asap.

What I wanna do?
PR??
Events???
Marketing????
Assistant merchandiser?????
Cabin crew??????

What can I get if I get myself involve in....
PR/Event /Marketing /Asst. merchandiser?
-average income,good contacts and gain a lot of experiences
-estimated time I can pursue my degree:in 5-10yrs

Cabin crew?
-meet all kinds of people,gets to travel,damn good income
-estimated time I can get my degree:in 3-5yrs

Mum was telling me,I'm still young,no harm trying,just do whatever I feel like doing.

Can someone decide for me?Sigh...I know.My life I decide myself.Thank you.