i'm so hurt again

Being hurt by sum1 who hurt u over n over again,is stupid or naive or innocent or wat?They say dun run away but to face it,but wat happen nw when i'm facing it?Am i stupid for letting it happen when i knw tat it will affect me so much?

I'm having d stress migrain again.Suddenly like thunder strike on my head,so pain...n slowly it goes thru my body n stopped right at d heart.I wanted to tell sumbody of wat i'm goin thru but i jst cudnt...dun ask me y...i jst dunwan to.Y knwing tat it will hurt me y still doin it to me?

Tired!!!!!!!!!

Worked for Hari Raya at 1u for 3 days.Actually 4 days wan but today got class.So damn tired...nt enuf sleep summore.Today i slept in d class again...so tired n they said i looks tired too.Haih....i'm kinda like psycho adi,too much too think,too much pressure...i'm so frustrated,i wanted to cry but i kenot!!Gees...its getting too far n much serious adi...!!!I'm happy at d outside but deep inside my heart is so tight...i duno y but i jst felt like tat.

Yesterday when i'm working tt time,we were discussing abt family,gens n relationship.So true tat its so easy for a men to forget their past relationship even tho they love their ex so much,unlike women,even we haf a new bf,more or less we'll still think abt our ex if he's d one tat gives us alot of memories no matter good or bad.Is nt tat we'r nt serious in d current 1 but we'r nt as cruel as mens.But loving sumone is nt to haf them but to c them happy.But thr's aso sumone who tell me,if u cant be wif sumone u love d most,u cant close ur eyes when u die.Bur thr's aso sumone tell me,love sumone who love u more is better than love sumone who dun love u tat much.

Haih its so complicated....i nit to get sum rest wif tis life...Being d eldest daughter in d family is nt easy especially in tis kinda family background,haf to face so many things which i shudnt n haf to act like ntg happen,cant share it to anyone,haf to tolerate no matter wat,pressure wif studies,pressure wif not enuf money to use,pressure wif nt enuf time to use,pressure wif relationships and so much more!

Festive Holidays is boring

I'm bak in my hometown.So boring,everyone seems to haf their plans,all aso vry busy except for me.Haizzz wat to do ner...

Bought a laptop yesterday,so happy but havent install software yet cos i bought 1 is free dos de ma.Now no ppl help me to do liao lu,haf to ask Ah Wei to help me...dunno he good anot leh...i actually can do 1 but i dun haf all d cds only cos last time i aso got help ppl format computer n stuff like tat b4 ge ma,tat was long time ago la hehe...

Hmmm tmr haf to go bak kl adi lu,cos haf to work.Terpaksa la,nowadays no money liao so haf to work.Work for 3days,at 1u,nike sports culture.Haf to work harder adi lor...so i can buy alot alot of things after tat.........Maybe tis few months din shop adi,become vry moody nowadays...is jst maybe...i dunno y but i really vry moody....

Sot sot dei adi

I dunno wat wrong wif me tis few days.Vry damn moody orh.Thanks to d 'aunty' tat havent come n visit me!But luckily recently got one group of freaks teman me,tok crap n laughing all along.Yesterday went sing K wif Robin,Joe n Michelle.It happened when Robin requested Sun Yan Zi song,so he tune it to vry vry high key so its easier for him to sing,so at 1st of d mtv is Yan Zi toking duno wat crap,so when its tuned into high high key it sounds like cartoon or little baby toking,me n Michelle laugh until tears came out,stomach cramp n nearly rolled down to d floor.OMG!!nvr laugh like tat for such a long time adi!Anyway,i had so much fun.

Today,I was late to class again.I reached thr nt long after,i slept,slept till she say '5 mins break'.I summore tot class finish adi,so happy but den Kym told me its oni a short break. -_-".So lunch time went McD at Ampang Park,after eating we sat thr n crapped lor...vry interesting.Den went bak college to continue class...so damn boring again.Tis time,Michelle slept,snored vry softly hehe but becos i sat rite infront of her so i can hear lor.Aftr class i tumpang Asthena car go MV lor,tats d only way n easiet way tat i can go home without having to change train.Sumtimes aso feel 'em hou yi si',haf to tumpang her car everytime,how i wish i got a car!!!

Reached Subang adi asked aunty to fetch me den she fetch popo go clinic ma so i haf to follow lor.Sumtimes arh old ppl,vry farn wan leh,dunno how to speak english ma so ask us to tell doc lor.Ppl tell adi summore ask us to tell again...haih...like mother like daughter.Tis aunty arh,ppl aso din ask abt her,she go n tell her own prb to d doc,tok until nonstop.Gees,sumtimes arh i feel women arh vry mafan even tho i am one.Like wat i always ask those guys,"women vry troublesome hor?".Sorry har,recently i'm being kinda disrespectful nowadays,thanks to d group of freaks i had.Today i vry 'keng',had McD for lunch n tats it,dinner aso din eat,jst ate a piece of frenchtoast n its becos i was forced by popo to eat...snack pun tarak makan only eat assam when my mouth itch.Maybe later eat instant noodle for supper lor hehehe..Tis is how i diet....shit!feel hungry tim nw...

I think alot tis few days,always tot of living in tis world is so meaningless.Looking at d train railway arh aso can think of how will it b if i die in d middle of d track.Sumtimes in d room,i lie on d floor n think abt my life,being so useless n all.Gees!thr's so much more.Haih luckily i can still control myself...but i guess i'll be okay la...still concious of my doings

Tmr maybe goin either spa or facial cos aunty got free voucher ma.N too bad her daughter kenot go cos I can go!Yeah Yeah hahahahaha...vry devil la me...;P

Amaze

Last wednesday our college had a graduation show at JWMarriot.Its was real grand.As i written at d previous blog,i'm selected to b d flowergirl tat nite.Dress code was black,so i wore d dress i bought tat day.

Went last minute shopping on Tues after class at klcc cos goin to meet aunty thr.So i went hunting for a pair of nice stilettos to match my lovely dress.At 1st,we're at inside of Isetan,shoes thr was so expensive becos of those brand names they had.I found d bag i wan instead of d shoes,d one i saw it at MValley,got 10% off summore but i think n think n at last i din buy cos at d moment d bag is not my priority.Nowadays i'm a smart buyer adi la,not tat shopaholic anymore cos no $ adi.AFter tat,I found d pair of jeans i wanted to buy tat day at 1u,50% off!!!!so i decided to buy it cos its really DAMN cheap after 50% off n luckily tat day i din buy if not i rugi rm50++ n d jeans give me a really nice cut other than Levi's M593.Its really worth buyin tho.After tat went out from Isetan,still hunting for a pair of shoes,went to Vincci but those shoes vry common n not classy at all.Den when we went to primavera,i actually tot i saw a pair black n red 1 tat they use d 'the devil wears prada' theme but dun haf den i go walk around n i found it!!!It was such a nice n classy stilettos n kinda mature but good for d occassion la.So i saved half of d pair of jeans money to buy tis pair of shoes,I'm so happy!

Okay,so back to d graduation show.We reached thr abt 5pm.THey said ushers n flowergirl haf to b thr early but is jst a short briefing n we got ntg to do.So hungry so went back stage to find our food.Saw alot of models back thr,doin hair n make-up.We eat until so kelian at d backstage,sum even haf to stand,like rats like tat.After tat still ntg to do,so me,kym n michelle were at backstage looking at a male model,everybody was like taking picture wif him sum even tok to him.At 1st we'r like dun dare+naikkan harga diri dunwan to take picture wif him de den got 1 girl ajak me go n take so at last i took wif him lor.Walaueh,he's so tall n so cute!!!After tat michelle go pulak after a long while starring at him from a distant.So its 7sumthing adi,we went out n eat,thr's buffet for d guest so we makan saje la since its free.Den bla bla bla bla,ushers haf to work adi...so me,d flowergirl,haf to wait backstage cos my job is after d fashion show.David briefed 3 of us(thr's 2 otha flowergirl) n tats all n everybody is getting ready for d show.My toes hurts maybe becos its a new pair of shoes...but haf to sabar.Gees,summore haf to wait till d end of d show only can go around.Amber Chia was thr,she's like d shortest among those otha models,she's so ugly...my fren from snips said i look better than her.But all d model aso not vry nice looking wan,seriously n no offence,maybe they'r too tall adi,face all kinda same 1 duno y.Overall d show was fine,jst sum mistakes at d price giving ceremony,not our flowergirls fault tho.D show finish at 10pm sharp so me n all d otha coursemates decided to go for drinking at Qba at Westin Hotel.Lasted for 2hrs cos actually wana stay until1130 only but they said is Joe's bday so celebrate wif him 1st lor...den we took alot of pictures especially Michelle hahaha....den we went to dancefloor thr n dance when the latin singers go for a break n tats when they put on rnb songs.Kinda had fun tho...but its kinda boring becos thr's only old uncles n aunties thr...i think we'r d one group which is d youngest...