Dead tired...

This whole week was like so tired,last friday was it rushing d fashion merchadising assignment but it all sucked,nt my part tho so i requested to redo it n luckily the lecturer let cos i let her look at it.Really sucked!So tis time i do it all by myself.Den Tiff came cos saturday she's goin for d air asia interview.Den Be went to socialize wif his colleagues n suppliers at Sunway n of cos he get drunk.He asked me out go yum cha wif him n b4 tat he called me tat time he talked to Tiff,so funny,becos he's drunk.
So Saturday went to ktm station take train to Putra,we missed d train n densuddenly got sum prb so d train was delay abt an hour.Tis time d interview is nt tat crowded.She passed d interviw so tues haf to go to their academy to take d final interview.How lucky she is.Got abit regret din go n try again...maybe i can get in aso bt i rather study 1st oni try lor,after 2 yrs everybody!Den she duno wan to stay anot cos tat mad aunty dun let her stay bt at last she decided to go bak becos she din bring enuf money n clothes.So ask Be to fetch us to Jln Duta.She can get along wif Be,suprisingly.We talked n laughed while waiting for d bus.After tat,me n Be went to Cheras fixed car den at d workshop thr got 3 shihtzu,so cute!!How i wish i got a puppy like tat.After tat went for dinner at Sri Petaling thr,had pizza.
Sunday,dad n all went bak to ipoh n i din go cos i nit to stay bak n finish my assignment cos tis time kenot last minute liao.So they came bak wif my sisters along.Aunty came bak seems pissed,i wonder isit i borrowed her black belt bt who cares.Den i lazy do assignment adi since monday got no class can sleep late ma bt jill n all came down for supper...wow they really eat like mad.So we so pissed tat we cant haf snacks infront of d tv so i on d drama on my laptop n we watched while eating.Slept abt 3sumthg like tat.
Monday.Aunty woke us up at 11sumthg,get ready n we went out to Lisa's hse(cammie's fren) cos her mum bought her a new shihtzu puppy...so cute arghhh!!!I wan i wan!Like a baby like tat.Den went to Subang parade(not again...!)bt tis time at least gt my sisters around lor.Bought sum nail polish n a fake diamond bangle.Aunty last nite acted like tat becos she's sick so tak apalah...Went bak home early cos she's nt feeling well n haf to cook.Terus masuk my room n sleep adi so tired!Dad came bak early today den duno wat he do la i aso dun care jst sleep saje.Den abt 6,dad knocked on my door...he asked me to cook rice bt i'm sleeping n he say dun sleep lor cos dinner will be ready soon.I kenot tahan leh so he asked sum1 else to cook rice den i sleep bak..hehe...After an hour or so Joan woke me up for dinner.Half awake only...After dinner,is washing dishes time,so me n jill on duty tonite.After tat i took my bath den came down do assignment.Finished abt 11sumthg.SO damn happy...n satisfy..Same thing,they came down for supper n watched d drama...until 2sumthg..
Tuesday,woke up at 630am.Damn!dun feel like goin class bt haf to cos promised lecturer to pass up d assignment.Went to class abit late bt still okla n alot ppl later than me hehe.Suprisingly class finished once Michelle jst came into d class for abt less than 5mins!No drawings today...how great...N kym dun believe us whn we told her whn she came after d class finish.Den me,robin,michelle,kym n asthena went for brunch at Jln Imbi for bak kut teh.Actually wana go subang n eat d famous pork noodles bt vry far orh...all aso hungry liao.After tat all aso go bak home to sleep,left me n michelle staying at college,duno whr to go.Not feeling well so i went home.Not a very happy ride bak home.I aso duno how it happens...haih.Reached home straight away take my bath den sleep adi.So tired n nt feeling quite well summore,eyes r tired.Woke up den found out aunty is nt cooking dinner becos dad is nt coming bak so jill they all making potato egg salad.Yummy,nice..Tok to Be on d fone,i duno whether is a happy chat or a bad one...hmmm nvmla...Den hang out till vry late again,i think abt 3 again
N finally today,Wednesday,woke up at 6am to wake Be up,ended up i called till i fell asleep n den suddenly got msg,d digi send to show d balance wan.Damn it,wasted my money...hehe bt my fault la.Actually adi set d alarm to 7am bt ended up woke up half an hr later.Reached quite early today.class ended quite early aso.Den me n michelle got no whr to go cos all d pc labs occupied so we went to d infront of d library n office thr(i duno call wat) to sit.Den went to Jln Chow Kit to eat chilli pan mee wif robin,john,mich,joe n his gf.After tat took train to Midvalley to meet d girls up.It was so boring,mayb becos i got no mood to shop gua.But i bought a winnie d pooh pencil box hehe...Came bak straight away sleep,again...n now i'm sitting here blogging n here i'll end it hehe cos wana haf supper wif my sisters.Btw tmr goin Palm Garden golf club,dad's playing golf n we go swimming n of cos i'm nt swimming la...

School Life

Tis time i came bak to Stw makes me realise sumthg,d only sch mate i get in touch wif is ONLY Tiffany.Today i suddenly feel like bloggin abt my secondary school life.

Well,alot of things happens in sch,its complicated,esp girls.It only happened to those who so-called-popular in sch,becos of jealousy i guess n tryin to condemned evryone who is on their way to being popular.Well,which girl dun like to be popular n to get every kinda attraction tat is so seductive?Sum is popular becos of their grades n sum is popular becos of they'r rich n sum is popular becos she's pretty n sum is popular becos they'r backstabbers n sum is popular becos of their family background n sum is popular becos they'r players n so on.N me?I'm nt vry sure bt i'm nt a top student n i'm nt rich.

Alot of things happened to me,heard alot of bad things abt me too,rumours i supposed.Once i heard ppl say wat happened is becos of my family background,said tat i 'no parents to teach me'*in chinese* which makes me kinda angry!Calling me names n so on...u knw...

I had a group of frens which we created a group name called '6littlechrist'*such a innocent n holy name*.I'm d 'da jie' in d group becos of my birth date.Yeah it was great to haf a group of frens like tis bt still thr's conflict happened among us.Say la "anything u can come to me,i'll support u n b thr for u" but whn anything happen to me all seems like they haf lost their memory or sumthg,no one thr to comfort me,no one help me,no one thr to speak out for me n none of them support me.It happened quite few times adi,always hoping for them to at least come n care abt me,bt all acted like ntg like tat eventho they knw i'm having a hard time,i jst kept quiet.N yet becos of their frens dun like me,they turn their back on me.Watever gathering or parties,none of them invited me,well i knw y n i dun even ask much abt it cos i knw who am i.Whenever they wan my help,i'll be d 1st who say 'sure!',trying to get their acceptance by help them whenever n watever i can unless i got sumthg tat i couldnt help.I've kept tis until nw jst becos i dunwan to ruin our frenship bt till nw,i guess sum of them dun even knw wat i'm studying n whr am i nw.I'm disappointed tho,nt nw,,,bt after so long i'm still disappointed.

Haih...life's like tis!I dun mind tho,get used to it adi...But nw whn i'm in college life is totally different,maybe it still havent happen.Or mayb they'r more grown up,mature,so they see things differently.Sumtimes hanging out wif them brightens up my day.Not to say i forget my frens bak in Stw,I still appreciates them as my frens n I remember every each of them bt r they?Sumtimes i go bak Stw,I really wish to hang out wif them,cum out yum cha or sumthg.Maybe i shud make d initiative to ask them out,bt will they come out?Hmmm sum of them aso in KL studying bt...hmmm dun mention le...

I'm not unhappy tho...jst wana say out sumthg tat kept in my heart a long time ago...

Numb to pain

If u wana hurt me for u to feel better,go ahead,say watever u wan to make me feel bad,call me watever names u wan and dun feel regret after tat.Dun say sorry if u wana do tat.Compared to how u hurt me b4 tis,i duno wat is more hurt than tat.But i blame all tis to myself,i'm d one who started all tis i guess.I hope u'll leave me alone if u still got abit sense of compassion.I already had too much to handle,so pls lessen my worries will u.

Hurt by Christina Aguilera
Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face.
You told me how proud you were but I walked away.
If I only I knew what I know today, ohhhh.

Pre-Chorus:
I would hold you in my arms.I would take the pain away.
Thank you for all you've done.
Forgive all your mistakes.
There's nothing I wouldn't do.
To hear your voice again.
Sometimes I wanna call you but I know you won't be there.

Chorus:Oh, I'm sorry for blaming you.
For everything I just couldn't do.
And I've hurt myself by hurting you.

Verse 2:Some days I feel broke inside, but I won't admit.
Sometimes I just wanna hide cuz it's you I miss.
You know it's so hard to say good-bye when it comes to this, ohhhh yeah.

Pre-Chorus:Would you tell me I was wrong?
Would you help me understand?
Are you looking down upon me?
Are you proud of who I am?
There's nothing I wouldn't do.
To have just one more chance.
To look into your eyes and see you looking back.

Chorus:Oh, I'm sorry for blaming you.
For everything I just couldn't do.
And I've hurt myself, oh...

Bridge:If I had just one more day.
I would tell you how much that I've missed you since you've been away.
Oh, It's dangerous.
It's so out of line to try and turn back time.

I'm sorry for blaming you.
For everything I just couldn't do.
And I've hurt myself....by hurting you.

It's so right abt tis song but one thing,is tat i dunwan to c u anymore even tho i wan to.

Colder than ice...

So many things had happened recently,especially yest nite.Last nite was Popo Chen bday,everyone went bak to ipoh to haf dinner wif her.I tot tis time,it'll be a vry happy dinner,or at least wif peace but it's nt.I was telling everybody,especially popo chen to nt worry abt it n jst enjoy d dinner,of cos its impossible,including myself,forced a smile on my face to hide my feelings inside.









I'm vry happy tat we can gather together as a family,happy tat i can meet up wif my 2 lil cutie sisters.Uncle Turkey(his petname since vry young) came wif his family too.Go bak popo chen hse tat time,we sat Tai Pak's car,1st time i sat his car after he bought tis MercedesBenz S'class.Raining heavily since whn we left kl bak to ipoh.Dark clouds all d way.Everyone in Popo chen hse,sitting in different places,nt toking as if waiting for us(kids) to leave them alone for them to discuss.While waiting for be to come n fetch me n 2 sisters,aunty asked up to go up to d room n told us sumthg.We heard it too many times,we already get used to it,its nt a unfamiliar thing anymore.Poured a bucket of disappointment on our face again.After tat,we left,b4 leaving as usual,we haf to kiss everyone goodbye;dad,popo chen n popo yee,aunty n say goodbye to Tai Pak.Tis time might be d last time we do tis again.

Heart felt so uneasy after d dinner.Too farn adi,too tired,too disappointed...too cold.Faced so much disappointment lately,too much emotional pain adi.Y?y everytime d person i love most r d one who disappoint me n hurt me?!Y my love is always taken for granted?I'm so tired,too tired to live in tis world!Y all tis shits always happening to me?Y cant let me rest for a sec peacefully?

Dun fool wif me,I'm nt in a gd mood!

Since tis morning I'm nt in a good mood adi,I duno y but jst dun make me pissed.Today got midterm exam so i sat at d bak of d class lor but i aso usually sit at d bak 1 ma.Den lecturer came in,wana start exam adi,of all d ppl sitting at d bak wif me,she asked me n kym to sit right infront d 1st table.DEn i saw a empty table at d centre so i sit lor cos nt tat front ma den she asked me to stand up n go to d front...ok..i sabar...So after exam she said all of us who finish can sign out n go out adi den i finished adi ma so i walked out to her table n sign out.She asked me to sit,of cos i felt weird den i jst sabar oni la.After tat no ppl go n sign adi wor so once again i walked out lor.Tis time she asked me to sit down again,wif a DIFFERENT tone!!!Damn her!!!I'm in such a mood adi she still wana do tis to me!F*ck her!!!!!!!!!!!So i'm d last person who sign out of d class!!!!Ishhhhhh!!!!Geramnye!!!!Y pick on ME!!!

Ok,whn come to afternoon class i tot she ok adi nt tat mad liao.After class,i was at d bak cutting out those silk fabric wif a few coursemates.AGAIN!OF ALL D PPL STANDING NEAR ME,Y CALL ME!!!!!!!!!She asked me to help her take things to her room wif 2 indian girls!!!She purposely wan lor!Damn her DAMN HER!!!!!!

Getting better??

I guess so.Isit becos prb solve or become worst?But sum say as long as i am happy,y worry so much abt it.But seriously i kept asking myself tis "am i happy?" question.I'm worried tat i haf split personalities tis kinda mental prb later.

Last thurs went MV wif aunty,got a free body scrub.Nice aso la but vry short period of time only n it cost rm120!So Damn expensive!If i married a multimillionaire,i might go n get a body scrub geh every once in a week.After tat went shopping lor den get sum stuff for mum frm watsons.Get so much free gift thr leh.Spend quite alot of money cos i bought sum products for myself as well.Really pokai adi la nw.










Saturday went out wif Be,went to Puchong,had lunch thr.We had western food,nt bad overall.I finished d whole big piece of steak by myself.Den went to 1u to get my pay lor n asked Papa sum info for my fashion merchandising assignment.Damn him!wat aso say kenot reveal!Den i ask him to ask for Edwin's email lor(d boss son),he aso say kenot!He say 'i dun think he will reveal tis to u as well,wat i can reveal i already told u'.Ass la u!U havent ask how u knw orh!u dunwan ppl to help me n wan to show how great r u only!Always like to show off!English so bad dun speak english la!Memalukan!Dun act as if u'r vry important!Ppl jst treat u like a hardworking dog only!

So got my pay but half of it haf to pay off my debts.So kelian...haih....i so nit money nw!!!I din go for shopping for so long adi!So long din buy things tat i really wan liao...haih...sob sob :"(