Colder than ice...

So many things had happened recently,especially yest nite.Last nite was Popo Chen bday,everyone went bak to ipoh to haf dinner wif her.I tot tis time,it'll be a vry happy dinner,or at least wif peace but it's nt.I was telling everybody,especially popo chen to nt worry abt it n jst enjoy d dinner,of cos its impossible,including myself,forced a smile on my face to hide my feelings inside.









I'm vry happy tat we can gather together as a family,happy tat i can meet up wif my 2 lil cutie sisters.Uncle Turkey(his petname since vry young) came wif his family too.Go bak popo chen hse tat time,we sat Tai Pak's car,1st time i sat his car after he bought tis MercedesBenz S'class.Raining heavily since whn we left kl bak to ipoh.Dark clouds all d way.Everyone in Popo chen hse,sitting in different places,nt toking as if waiting for us(kids) to leave them alone for them to discuss.While waiting for be to come n fetch me n 2 sisters,aunty asked up to go up to d room n told us sumthg.We heard it too many times,we already get used to it,its nt a unfamiliar thing anymore.Poured a bucket of disappointment on our face again.After tat,we left,b4 leaving as usual,we haf to kiss everyone goodbye;dad,popo chen n popo yee,aunty n say goodbye to Tai Pak.Tis time might be d last time we do tis again.

Heart felt so uneasy after d dinner.Too farn adi,too tired,too disappointed...too cold.Faced so much disappointment lately,too much emotional pain adi.Y?y everytime d person i love most r d one who disappoint me n hurt me?!Y my love is always taken for granted?I'm so tired,too tired to live in tis world!Y all tis shits always happening to me?Y cant let me rest for a sec peacefully?